Excessive Talk and Clever Questions
People including most real estate brokers tend to talk too much. Just don't. No need to be taciturn, but do not be loquacious either. Rather, one might ask mild, unassuming questions. It is amazing what most people will answer and how much they will say.
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People chat. People make small talk. And people love to chat about real estate. So when buyers and sellers meet, that is of course what they do. And you know another thing people like to talk about? Themselves. And this combination is…less than ideal.
Now some people who recognize this issue will handle it with quiet reserve. They are not rude, but they have their look and depart. They tend to ask very few questions; I think out of fear that questions may lead to a conversation which they are trying to avoid. And in the process of a modern real estate transaction, buyers and sellers most often don’t even meet until the closing.
Personally, I think this is an opportunity lost. It is possible to have a conversation and say very little about yourself. And it’s easy: Just put these two things (talk about real estate and talk about themselves) together and ask questions. Like: How long have you lived here? Why are you selling? Unassuming and disarming questions. How should we proceed? What are your thoughts? Or even: I’m not sure, what are your thoughts? Don’t be pushy about it, take a rather relaxed approach. And you will have to reciprocate. But ask one question at a time and give them time to answer. Never answer the question for them.
Most people understand that if they are buying or selling real estate, it is probably best to not talk too much. But human nature being what it is, often times people just can’t help themselves. So ask questions, answer politely as necessary, and then ask more questions. The point is, just give people the opportunity to talk. They love it.
But there is one thing to point out about these questions. Let’s use a common example: Why are you selling? If it is for a good reason, they might tell you. Yeah, I got a big promotion and a job transfer to Albuquerque. But they’re not going to tell you a bad reason: I lost my job and we just can no longer afford the place. So if we can get them, we do care what the answers are. But we are also interested, perhaps more interested, in the conversation around the answers. While they’re preoccupied in not answering your particular question, they may very well tell you something else. So listen closely. Yes again, it’s not rocket science.
If you are dealing with the other side’s broker, the same applies. They’ll chat if given the opportunity. Here’s a little trick: Ask the broker for her advice. But not about this property. For example: What do you think about ABC neighborhood? Or, have you ever sold a house in that neighborhood? What do you think about all the new houses built on slabs? What do you think of Toll Brothers as a builder? Do you know a good real estate attorney?
Two things: First, just get her to chat with you (hopefully, off-script). And two, all brokers want clients. And no matter what else you may be, to a broker, you are a potential client. Either in a dual agency situation for this property or as a client for some other property.
Now all brokers should take the position that when working on behalf of client X, if they are dealing with you as a potential buyer or seller, they should not attempt to make you client Y. This way they will be solely focused on serving X’s interests. I would label this a best practice.
But this is just not the way brokers think. So use the broker’s innate desire to acquire you as a client in order learn more about her existing client or the property. Set the pace; don’t be in a hurry. I am not saying to waste your time, or even the broker’s time; this is not that sort of game. Rather, this conversation is fairly subtle and cannot be rushed. But if a broker sees an opportunity to acquire you as a client, she may be careless, sometimes even reckless.
Now, is this a bit devious? Well don’t lie to her and don’t mislead her. If you are worried about this, just stick with questions. But allow her to do what comes naturally: Job Number One, Client Acquisition. And notice this: If the broker is doing her real job, serving and protecting the interests of her client, this little trick will not work. You will notice this right away because her attitude will be: I am not here to give you free advice; go hire your own broker. Right? Of course.
In fact, the only time these brokers do not view you as a potential client is when you are the broker on the other side. In which case, you cannot use her desire to acquire you as a client to your advantage.
But most brokers care a great deal about what other brokers think of them. They should not, but they do. They want validation and respect from other brokers. So take the chummy colleague approach. The two of you share a knowledge, a certain insight, that your respective clients just cannot appreciate. Yes, it’s a burden you share. So treat her like a valued partner. Sometimes even, treat her with the deference due a valued senior partner. She’ll love it.
Look, if she’s competent, this probably won’t do you any good, but it will not hurt. If she is not competent, she will appreciate the fact that you think she is, and treat her like she is. She certainly believes herself to be competent (because everyone does). I have been utterly amazed at what some brokers will reveal to me (as the opposing broker) with this approach and a little chitchat, respect, nurturing, and commiseration. It does not always happen. But it happens enough that it is worth a try.
And even when chatting with other brokers, brokers are like anyone else. If you ask for their advice, they will be flattered. You must be genuine; so pick something that you really need advice on. And if you are working in the real estate business, there is always something that you need advice on. Hey, do you know a good attorney in Anytown? Have you ever dealt with X issue? Ask her about her firm. Heck, ask her about her new car. Remember, she is a valued partner, maybe even a valued senior partner. Just make it about some other issue than the property under consideration. Because I promise, she will come back to it.
Keep in the back of your mind that brokers want to make a deal, any deal, more than they want to make the best deal. So be friendly and respectful, even deferential if it works, while at the same time you are better prepared, have complete command of the contract platform, take full advantage of the due diligence provisions, set the pace, all of it.