Difficult People
People who are difficult to deal with on the front end will be difficult all the way through the transaction. Decide early how much you are willing to tolerate.
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This often starts with failure to be accommodating. Then, they’re not nice or easily insulted or they want everything yesterday. Whatever the case may be. Some people are just difficult to work with. And generally, the best way to deal with people like this is to, not deal with them.
Now we all deal with the rigamarole and rudeness and arcane bureaucracy at the DMV. Because they have something we want, in fact, something we need. And if we are clever, we even learn ways of dealing with the foolishness in order to most quickly and efficiently achieve our goals, with as little frustration to ourselves as possible. But question: Would we deal with their nonsense if we did not have to? No. They get away with their bad behavior because they know full well that we are a captive audience. And by golly, we need them, more than they need us. In fact, they don’t need us at all. And that is basically their attitude.
Contrast this with the people we deal with in the real estate business. What would they have to have in order for us to give them the same deference that we give the lady at the DMV?
Well it certainly happens. We once dealt with a seller who had a single-floor unit for sale in a mostly two story townhouse complex. It was the first one to come on the market in over five years. And my clients wanted and needed it for an elderly parent. But the seller was quite rude and made ridiculous demands from the get go. And because we wanted it so badly, we acceded to the seller’s every ridiculous demand and tolerated every discourtesy.
But a couple of points. First, if they start rude, most often the rudeness will continue right through the closing. And two, you just have to decide how much you are willing to tolerate. And the earlier you make this decision, the better.
But I hear you. You say, but if you suck it up, you get what you want. Be a grownup. Right? Of course. And often that is the smart strategy. But let’s go back to our townhouse. They were quite rude and we ended up overpaying. Now, we did not overpay because they were rude. No, but we overpaid for the same reason that we tolerated the rudeness: They had something that we desperately wanted. Then a couple of years later, my client’s elderly parent died, and we took a rather large loss on the unit.
Here’s my point: In the real estate business, it should be extremely rare for you to be willing to deal with difficult people. Sure, if you are in this business for any length of time, you will have to. But each and every time that you face this issue, I would just suggest that you ask the questions: How much do I want or need this? And how much bad behavior am I willing to tolerate in order to get it? Are there any viable alternatives?
We have talked about the correlation between nice and smart, and rudeness and stupidity. But I also think that someone who is rude is more likely to waste your time. Believe me, if someone is entitled to be rude to you, they are certainly entitled to waste your time. So unless you are a masochist, you gain nothing by tolerating their rudeness. After a few experiences like this, one tends to become rather intolerant of bad behavior. And I think that is a beneficial and even healthy attitude to develop in the real estate business.
I don’t really deal with many residential rentals. But after the downturn in 2008, many of us did have to do a bit of leasing. I will never forget a series of phone calls I got from a potential renter. She started very rude, and I shut the phone call down right away. But then she proceeds to call me back multiple times, ending, of course, with a threat to call the Real Estate Commission. I encouraged her to do so, and even gave her the phone number. But the point is: Even if she was not wasting my time, can you imagine dealing with such a person over the course of a twelve-month tenancy?
I had a guy call me about a house for sale. Same deal, quite rude and condescending. But it had been a long listing and we definitely needed a buyer. So even though he was quite rude, I agreed to show him the place the next day. But an hour later, I called him back and canceled. I told him: I think you are wasting my time, and even if you are not, I just don’t want to deal with you. I never regretted that decision.
One final perhaps less egregious example. But I think it demonstrates where you need to get, attitude-wise. Another potential tenant calls me about a rental unit. Wants to see the place after work, at 5:30. So I am there at twenty after, because, you know, he might be early, and contrary to how this chapter sounds, I am in fact very customer service oriented. Anyway, he never shows, no phone call, nothing. I leave at six.
Two days later he calls me: Hey, couldn’t make it the other day; can I see it this evening after work, at 5:30? Right? My response: Absolutely, but you need to first come to my office before five o’clock, and bring me $100, in cash. He said, well I’m not sure that I am going to rent the place and I don’t want to pay the application fee until I am sure. I said, well our application fee is sixty dollars. No, this hundred is to compensate me for my time, fifty dollars for the other day and another fifty dollars for today. Needless to say, he found that ridiculous and I never heard from him again.
But again, even if he was not wasting my time, can you imagine dealing with that guy as a tenant? And here’s another important point: The next week, I rented the place to nicest young couple. And they were perfect tenants. Imagine that.